Archive Monthly Archives: January 2016

3 Reasons Why Men Check Out Other Women

Have you ever been pissed off when your guy’s eye starts wandering in the direction of other girls?

Maybe you’re having a nice dinner at a posh restaurant and his gaze shifts towards the svelte blonde waitress serving you drinks. You pretend not to notice, but he’s staring a bit too hard (read: laser-focused) at her for your comfort.

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So you either give him an earful about it on the drive home, or bottle it up inside because you’d rather not rock the boat.

In any case though, you’re NOT happy about it.

You’re wondering, “Why the hell does he have to stare at other women anyway? Am I NOT enough for him??”

Well, yeah, he IS enough for you – even if he picks up an attractive lady in his peripherals.

And you might not want to hear this, but he does, indeed, think of other women in a SEXUAL way.

Believe it or not however, this ISN’T a threat to your relationship.

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Before you switch off your computer and proceed to kick your guy’s butt for what I just told you, hear me out first.

So, let’s get into it – WHY does a guy look at other girls?

Drum roll, please…

Reason Why He Looks At Other Women#1: It’s The Fuel To His Motor

While a guy’s sex drive kicks in like a knee-jerk reaction, it doesn’t have any bearing on your own attractiveness at all.

He’s perfectly happy with you and it’s just the natural way a guy’s brain is PROGRAMMED.

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Here’s something to chew on: the male instinct to appreciate female beauty is the same source of energy that propels him to accomplish other things outside of a romantic relationship, like his career, hobbies and other passions in life.

Plus, his sex drive is linked to that instinct to protect, nurture and defend his loved ones, especially the woman in his life (that means you).

In other words, this driving force is a GOOD thing for everyone.

Reason He Checks Out Other Women #2: It’s The Basis of All Romantic Relationships

Think about this: even today, men are usually the ones who do the pursuing  and start the relationship.

As I said with the male sex drive, this is a natural instinct he has, and it’s there for a good reason.

Being driven to approach women stems from the biological need to pass his genes to the next generation and ensure his genetic line will go on.

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And a guy doesn’t get in a relationship with you just so he can “hang out with you.”

That’s NOT to say that spending time together and having shared life experiences isn’t a VITAL part of the arrangement, but sexual chemistry in an undeniable part of the equation.

Otherwise, what you have is just companionship, and that’s not what thousands of years of evolution is all about.

Why a Guy Looks at Other Ladies Reason #3: It’s Just Fantasy, Nothing More

Just because a guy in a committed relationship has R-rated thoughts about a woman wearing a fetching dress who happens to walk by, it doesn’t mean he’s making plans to drop you like a live grenade and start hitting on said lady.

In fact, in MOST cases (like %99.99999 of the time), it doesn’t mean a damn thing – and won’t do anything about it.

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His brain might have played a fictional scenario of getting frisky with her, but that’s as far as it will go.

Since we’re being honest here, you have to admit that women ALSO have sexual fantasies about men – including guys who AREN’T their significant others.

(Unless of course, I’m wrong about that and the women who watched ‘Magic Mike’ were somehow able to deny every drop of emotion they had while the dancers bumped and grinded on-screen.)

Kidding aside, it’s PERFECTLY NATURAL to have those things when faced with the right kind of…visual stimuli.

And we’ve all had those weird, far-out thoughts before, but MOST of the time, we NEVER act on them. They’re just random brain farts that don’t mean much unless there’s action involved.

You suddenly don’t turn into a thief just because you’re in a nice jewelry store and thought, “Man, what if I could stop time and swipe those pair of diamond earrings?”

Or maybe your guy’s being really annoying or acting like an oaf, and you just wanted to give him a good smack on the head. You don’t actually do it, but thinking about it doesn’t make you a crazy, violent man-hater.

And when your guy might have a stray thought or two about another woman, it’s not a reflection of his character or who he is as a person.

More importantly, that shouldn’t make you see men as machines with a mindless need for sexual release with the first person they see.

He still thinks you’re hot, desirable and all that in spite of what may go through his mind every now and then.

Abstract thoughts don’t weigh as much compared to the concrete stuff a person regularly DOES in a relationship. I remember a line from a Batman flick where he says, “It’s what I do that defines me.”

I have to agree with ol’ Bats on that one because your guy’s actions are the ultimate basis of gauging the REAL state of your relationship.

That said, jumping to conclusions based on the things that may or may not be going through his head could just end up making your fears come true.

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I recommend you unburden yourself of the what-ifs in his heads – and in YOURS.

So at the end of the day, you’re better off not being so judgmental when the matter of looking-at-other-women-and-having-thoughts-about-them comes up with your guy down the road.

Understand that while a guy might have a fleeting moment where he’s not at his best, it doesn’t mean he’s out to undermine your relationship. Creating a “punishing environment” for him will make him more defensive when stuff like this comes up.

While you’re at it, avoid acting threatened or giving in to the temptation of putting down other girls. The more that you keep your cool in the presence of another woman, the more it actually keeps him from doing the things that bother you.

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In fact, it’s MORE attractive to a guy when his partner is perfectly fine living her life with or without him, let alone looking at other girls.

It’s a woman’s self-assured attitude that gets a guy in line and keeps him on his toes. In his mind, he’s like, “I better not screw this up, or I might LOSE her…”

Aside from the occasional weasel of a man you’ll see in the media, MOST men pretty much have their sexual desires in check. We’re sexual beings for sure, but in general, it’s not something that overrides our better judgment.

While men and women operate at different wavelengths, it’s simply a reality of dating and you shouldn’t let it knock the wind out of your sails. You simply work around the these differences and move forward with him.

By being calm, mature and well, cool about it, you’ll show your guy that you’re a stable, dependable partner who can support him in spite of his occasional bone-headedness.

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